Are Relationships Sucking the Life out of You?

As a person who claims to be walking the spiritual path, I sometimes find the humanness lurking — inviting me toward the dark (limiting, negative, pessimistic thoughts).

Recently I found I needed to do some real “house cleaning” (spiritual house cleaning that is).

I had to bravely admit to myself that some of my relationships were sucking the life out of me! 

When I started to look deeply into the situation I realized there were obvious clues:

  • I dreaded “their” phone calls
  • I went to great extremes to avoid spending time with them
  • found that when we did talk “they” were consistently dumping or sharing their problems
  • a lot of actual time was being lost that could have been used for creating and loving my own life.

I silently began to ask myself, “Are these relationships leading me closer toward The Light or further away?” In order for us to create the life that we desire it is important that we cultivate a practice. A practice of gazing inwardly & outwardly so as to see if these worlds are lining up with our highest values, dreams and desires.

And as I looked into my own situation I knew I needed to make some changes. Now …… this sounds pretty easy thus far but the real work comes when it’s time to lovingly release these relationships. I often notice the appearance of a silent voice, one filled with guilt. The voice speaks of all the things the person has done for me in the past. These past stories begin to feed the guilty voices —  “You owe them— You have no right to move on! They need you! They miss you.” Suddenly, I find myself unconsciously grabbing for my phone wanting desperately to text when really what I am desiring is “relief from the guilty voices inside my own head.”

Here’s what I have found to be helpful in transforming this toxic thought patterns :

  • First, I stop what I am doing.
  • Pause so as to say to myself, “Well Hello — it’s the sabotaging thoughts again, I’m familiar with you all and although you guys are here I’m choosing something different.”
  • I head to a private mirror, gaze into my own eyes 👁❤️👁
  • take a nice .. full .. deep inhalation and exhalation
  • And as I keep this gaze I speak these words, “I love you enough to chose beyond these limiting thoughts! I love you. I will take care of you.”

And astonishingly enough this creates a shift away from the guilt and into self love. Choosing self love opens A Space for healthier more supportive relationships.

If you are facing a similar situation, I encourage you to dedicate 10 seconds of your time to give this a try. 

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